just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
