also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
