I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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