addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
