How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
