are you still at the devil's house?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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