so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
