haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
They should really pass out barf bags in church
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
