just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
