Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
