he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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