It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
