thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
