I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
