check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
