Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
