That's when you crack a 10am beer
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
