the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
