fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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