Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my shit smells like andre
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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