already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
