you would pick up someone in the library
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
