What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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