Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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