we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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