he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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