WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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