so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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