I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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