Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
