Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
