he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
