so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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