Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is Oprah even human
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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