I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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