Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
