So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
