oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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