just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
