I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
