Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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