i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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