u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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