how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Ladies don't puke and tell
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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