Nicole vs. Life
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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