Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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