how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
