I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
