Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
