Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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