I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
