I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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