**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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