I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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