How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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